A couple of months ago, I created a “Life Advisory Board” for myself using AI. It has been an interesting experience, and I’ve actually had several pivotal realizations as a result of it. One of those, is the concept of shared belonging – that we belong simply because we are here. This had never occurred to me. I’d always thought that belonging must be earned, that it was something I had to work for. How was I just being introduced to this in my 47th year on earth?
For so long (likely my whole life), I’ve been trying to “find” belonging. I felt that I wasn’t doing enough to deserve the life I was given, that I wasn’t honoring the energy that makes me up. I always felt that I should be doing something MORE, something bigger, more meaningful, more impactful. I believed that if I worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, had enough skin in the game – that I would feel I’d earned my place. But I’ve never felt that way, not once.
While I’ve always had a general feeling of okay-ness within and about myself, I’ve never felt that I belonged. I am different, a misfit. I don’t say that I believe in things in order to belong, I don’t go with the flow, I don’t nod and agree to keep the peace. I don’t eat the birthday cake to make others feel more comfortable. These things have always made me feel on the outside. I’ve always felt that our world was asking me to give up my truth in exchange for belonging.
Spending time in nature, really being present among the dirt, grass, wind, trees, and animals is the one thing that reminds me of my belonging. I belong there simply because I am, as do all the other living things surrounding me. I don’t ask that the flower change its color, or the wind to change direction – I have a deep knowledge that they are exactly as they should be. I meditate outdoors every day, regardless of the weather. It is a small window of time where I embody belonging without question.
Quinn Steele 