Insider’s Look

This is one from my first series, Bleed With Me. I grew up in two homes. In one, I lived with my dad, brother, stepmother, stepsister, and two stepbrothers. I came from humble means, I can still remember the taste of the food stamps I helped lick and affix to the vouchers to take to the store before I was old enough to go to school. When I was nine or ten, my dad moved into my stepmother’s house. It was unlike anything I’d ever imagined. There was a huge main house, a guest house, a pond, and several horse pastures.

After the first week or so, the effect wore off. I’d already learned to make myself small, but this version of home pushed me to near invisibility. To my stepmother, I was a nuisance, an inconvenience. She was jealous of my dad and I’s relationship. When I left home for college, I didn’t look back. I gladly slammed that chapter of my life shut.

My stepsister showed up at my workplace years later, leaving a message with a colleague that my long-lost sister was there to see me. How interesting that she felt long-lost and I felt free. I am still unwinding the impact that chapter of my life had on me, slowly easing the knots over time…

Almost Family

shotgun chatter

all falls ill

strangling me

beneath your frills

willows mimic

monotony

turned to look

forgotten me

sister my sister

let me go

shattered past

you didn’t know?

you, he

they, all

blackened petals

line the wall

language lost

pain and reverie

worlds ago, still

knot in me

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