This is one from my first series, Bleed With Me. I grew up in two homes. In one, I lived with my dad, brother, stepmother, stepsister, and two stepbrothers. I came from humble means, I can still remember the taste of the food stamps I helped lick and affix to the vouchers to take to the store before I was old enough to go to school. When I was nine or ten, my dad moved into my stepmother’s house. It was unlike anything I’d ever imagined. There was a huge main house, a guest house, a pond, and several horse pastures.
After the first week or so, the effect wore off. I’d already learned to make myself small, but this version of home pushed me to near invisibility. To my stepmother, I was a nuisance, an inconvenience. She was jealous of my dad and I’s relationship. When I left home for college, I didn’t look back. I gladly slammed that chapter of my life shut.
My stepsister showed up at my workplace years later, leaving a message with a colleague that my long-lost sister was there to see me. How interesting that she felt long-lost and I felt free. I am still unwinding the impact that chapter of my life had on me, slowly easing the knots over time…
Almost Family
shotgun chatter
all falls ill
strangling me
beneath your frills
willows mimic
monotony
turned to look
forgotten me
sister my sister
let me go
shattered past
you didn’t know?
you, he
they, all
blackened petals
line the wall
language lost
pain and reverie
worlds ago, still
knot in me
