Withholding. It’s something I used when I was too afraid to speak up clearly and completely; when I felt unheard, dismissed, or diminished. I chose to withhold, thinking it provided me with safety. All it really did was validate my inner story that I was on my own.
I withheld affection, praise, tenderness, and information. I turned inward over being vulnerable, over the possibility of being disappointed.
Now that I’m learning to speak up and hold my space in all the non-work arenas of life, I see how limiting my tendency to withhold has been. I chose not to engage, silently opted out. I assumed I would be dismissed, diminished, or misunderstood.
I’m learning to turn myself inside out; to boldly claim the things I’ve always kept close to my chest. I’m learning to divulge rather than withhold. I’m choosing to remain engaged, even when I feel like wriggling off the hook.
I’m standing boldly in my truth, so that those already nodding to the same tunes can find me.
Quinn Steele 